"Infiltration infestation growing she is full of bees stinging her with bad ideas and nasty thoughts... Though sometimes she feels that through the pain of these seemingly negative pests she can make honey... These Bees give her life they keep her feeling pain which allows her to know she is alive. Her Colony of creation lives within her allowing her to produce her honey life nectar. Through all the pains in her life of worry self doubt sickness disgust and anything negative that she endures she holds the honey in her hand as a positive sign of creation through the pain. She can take terrible things and create beauty from them. Cultivating the negative in order to create and grow positive life from it. Without the bees would there be any honey any wonderful creations or drive to produce magic. The fungus in life tries to bring on the colony collapse but even as it grows all over spreading disease throughout she is strong and fights against this negative bacterial fungal war. Plagued by Heartworms,sick frog clog and life sore spores sprouting up all over her she gazes out weary but not yet given in. She seems tired but still standing with her fist clenching the honey wand ready to fight and hold on to life.Yes sir it's May and this month toward the end of it I will also be celebrating my Birthday! It's always as I near my birthday I get extra nostalgic and like to take a deep look back at it all and then breath out and get ready for what's ahead. Well this post has gone way too long for my tastes... I have allergies now and I am drinking some yerba maté tea to help me which I think it really does such wonderful stuff it is I mean after all it's the friendship and health drink so it has to be good :) and it's really great with a dash of cinnamon and milk YUMMMMY. But seriously if you have allergies like most this season being at such a peak drink this tea it HELPS and for so many other things too! Plus I read that one of the myths behind the tea said in short that a godess from the moon came to earth and was almost attacked by a jaguar but an old man helped save her so showing her gratitude to the old man she gave him the maté tree which could make a magical drink of friendship... I just love story time!
Stung in her heart for the pains of life...just as love is so sweet and wonderful there is also a bitter sadness and everything inevitably will always die. Whether it's metaphorically or physical loss so the stingers shows a love lost with the dying bee on my shoulder... There's a relationship to the bees in her life they are not always painful and against her they can love her very much as she does them for allowing her to help in producing the honey of her life. The needle sticking in the arm is reference to personal health issues. The taking of blood the taking of self always being drained in life yet still able to hold on and produce honey. The honey is held in the left hand as I who is she is left handed & mostly create with that hand naturally though since the accident utilize both hands much more now as I have to. Life draining sting stungers stuck again holding her head high endurance of pain and rising above the negativity in life. Overcoming circumstances.
The wearing of a blue dress, its a somber regal color to show respect & beauty standing strong even though she is suffering she is able to present herself in a respectable lovely manner. Sometimes in life we wear many things hats, masks,outfits and made up faces to cover up parts of us that we would much rather conceal so the wearing of this blue dress is symbolic for maintaining beauty and grace rather than giving in to the ugliness of pain & death.The fungus may grow on her but march on she will, wearing the dress and the bee hive crown being proud even if bruised,stung and full of fungus.So many types of growths we have whether it be metaphorical for someone or something in our lives or it can simply be that disease & sickness of growing old has infiltrated our body compromising us. We all have our fungal growths, our life sore spores, some of us just try to conceal it better by wearing a lovely blue dress."So that was just a snippet of many words I jot down in my books or notes.. it was something I don't think I really shared before with my previous works and just found it interesting I guess to expose another aspect of my creative process giving it some more dimension if you will to how a piece comes about.
And to end this post I will share a wonderful waking dream hallucination I had a week or so ago.... For the record I am on NO meds at all and all I can say having had this vivid hallucination I hope I am not deathly ill hahaha... But the experience was amazing!!!
Between 3 and 4am I woke up staring toward the ceiling of our bedroom which was covered in sea anemones and jelly fish tentacles which were all swirling around gracefully and slowly coiling downward as if they were trying to spin me up into this lush sea scape. It was beautiful and sparkling with light and color. I was completely aware and felt a bit of unease and tried to stop it but it didn't go away and at that point I gave into the experience and embraced all the beauty that flowed before me.