2013 will be a big year for me at the end of May I leave my 30's behind and enter into a new decade known as my forties, It's weird growing up and older because mostly you feel no change the idea of age was mostly always silly to me I just like to embrace life and do the things I dream of without letting outside perceptions and judgements of age affect me for the most part though sickness is harder when you are older so the you that is I do my best...your best to be healthy and balanced.
I still hold onto this idea and try to live life without worry of age and time. Though time the way it moves so swift and sharp nearly blinking your life away in a flash is the part that is a challenge. So often I wish I had special powers to slow living down but our modern society only sped things up making us run at break neck pace. One of the biggest challenges in real adult life is to find balance between doing the things you want and doing the things you have to right down to the boring minutia of brushing ones teeth to doing ones laundry. In our modern lives there are things we all must do because in the end they some how,these basic things, tasks if you will make our lives better you know not having rotted teeth to chew food and enjoy smiling while you still have them is a good thing.
But back to time I ponder our human cycle often seeing its bitter sweet beauty in the grace of those who are lucky enough to grow old, seeing walls fall away as you get older is a difficult thing to imagine at that end of the human cycle... It's like you have been the center of a rose bud and all your petals fall away exposing your stem its scary looking and fragile yet full of beauty for coming full circle I try to hold on to that beauty of life having stages and phases shifting growing and constantly changing until we are dust.
So thinking of 40 it really is kind of a human mid point, if life expectancy is an average of 80 years old for a full human life cycle. I feel the first half of my life, looking back has been overwhelmingly full of art creation and love...with bits of misfortune and loss thrown in the mix. What's life without some black and blues we all have them. It's normal, the downs we all face make the ups worth working through hard times. Life cycles, seasons change, friends come and go out of our lives, loved ones pass on...like my garden things grow die and bloom again newness is always there with each sunrise we get to see life is always new and never consistent only ever changing. The last few years for me have been a balancing act and often times were not easy but I am here and made it through rough waters with a supportive loving group of family and friends. Sure the storms not over yet but I do think some full sunshine weather is coming my way as I navigate towards the sun and my garden will bloom again.
The list of what I want to do for my 40th year is another blog post ponder fest to come in the next few months leading up to that point in Spring time. I have been writing about it in my journals thinking on that... a new decade of creation lays before me I want to map out a visual guide to help lead the way and start the new process.
This past year upon reviewing my personal collection of photos was personally a year of much art creation and poor spotty health literally with full body hives starting back Christmas night of 2011 going strong throughout the year mixed with other health issues. Somewhat fitting I am ending the year getting over a cold. Happy to say I'm feeling good now!
I am refraining from talking about 2012 world events as that's not what this blog has been about, its focus is on my personal journey in life in relation to art. With that said I know 2012 on a whole has seen great darkness and sadness with so much loss due to violence and natural disasters.
NJ and NYC was hit hard with Super Storm Sandy leaving us with no heat or electric for a week but I'm grateful that was the extent of our loss, we came out lucky and my heart aches for those who lost their homes. But I don't want to go on about current events and become crippled in fear and sadness I want to keep moving toward the light and simply just keep trying to be better and progress and help others where I can. I hope on a whole the human race can progress into a more peaceful age where we respect and honor our differences and learn to live together. Call me dreamer I don't mind being called that.
Ok on to some memory lists from this past year :D
So one of the biggest moments I am most proud of this past year was my solo show in NYC Project 30 the Hand Pick 10. It was a great way to interact with all of you who follow my work as well as making a new rich body of work I am very proud of.
- MF Gallery
- Modern Eden
- Last Rites Gallery
- Jinxed Gallery
- Nova Beligca Gallery
- Sacred Gallery and
So where do I see me in relation to 2013? I see more art being created the visions never stop, I see growth in my creative life both professionally and personally. I see more balance and better health. I see more strength and understanding. I see more openness and flexibility within my personal career path. I see paths clearing and me walking down them into the darkness of an unknown forest that is full of life and possibility.
The darkness is not always something to be afraid of it is in the unknown territory that we can have the greatest growth. I am looking toward the branches and vines and I am ready to get twisted up in new challenges. This world and economy has been keeping me under it's thumb with it's demands too long I am looking to find my way and break free in 2013 it will be a shift and great change for me I believe this to be true. And it's in that simple statement that is the catalyst for all great change... the first step is in believing something. I will make the changes happen even if they are not ready for me.
2013 is lucky 13 and I am ready to shed some light into the darkness and shine so the world knows I am alive and knows that I love being alive and knows how I want to continue sharing my visions and characters with it and hope that the world is even more open to embrace me back for it is in that mutual embrace that I can truly flourish and find my balance.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!