Miracle House Hoax

The Miracle House Hoax ::
Memories of a Childhood Gone Awry
Angie Mason


In The Beginning :
I remember moving into my childhood home when I was 4 years old. It was a humble little house that was quite a sloppy mess set back in the woods with a genuine swamp right in the back yard. This house with its shabby shingles and wobbly worn out frame stood dingey and lopsided greeting us like a neglected abandoned orphan. We embraced it like infertile parents wanting a child so desperately. We worked feverishly and halfassedly to transform this heap into a home as quickly as we possibly could cause we had livin' to do in that house. Soon the first miracle took place, the once spent piece of trash had now turned into a quaint little gem complete with an eagle center piece on the front of the roof. This was no house this was home.

This home was soon dubbed the Miracle House by my overly religious father,Vinnie, an irish - american indian with a drinking habit and a gambling problem conviently enough and who also happens to be a born again. Well Vinnie went and found himself a nice looking piece of driftwood and painted a sign, which read "The Miracle House" in neatly yet dripping white enamel paint which he then varnished. He proceeded to then nail this home made sign of good faith so it shined like a jewel hung high out of reach to the big tree, which seemed to guard the front of our home, keyword being seemed.

Now coming from a cramped up apartment that supposedly was haunted according to my mother, well this new home was like a castle which I was ready to claim my deserved title - the princess of The Miracle House. I was glad to get away from that pesky air conditioner in that old apartment anyway since I swore at the time it kept waking me up in the middle of the night. I swear dreams seem so real when you are a child and when I was like 3 or 4 I swore my air conditioner would glow red in the middle of the night and call to me saying I belonged to Satan and I would do his work for him.... But that is a whole different story all together... funny thing, kids with their dreams ain't it.

Life was starting to look good for the Mason family or at least things seemed to look good. In the beginning, I was simply starting a new life in this super cool new home that had a huge yard just right for playing. Time was spent on the important tasks of a princess such as: tag games, tennis baseball and of course a good rifle chase game complete with a 'Planet of The Apes' mask while wearing a ballerina tutu with sneakers and bright red tights. Yup life seemed like it was pretty good, keyword being seemed.

To be continued.